Fortune Teller Surprise – Golf Joke

On a recent trip to the Fortune Teller the golfer asks: “Are there golf courses in Heaven?”
The fortune teller replies: “I have good news, and I have bad news…”
Golfer: “So what’s the good news?”
Fortune Teller: “The good news is that Heaven’s golf courses are beautiful beyond anything you could imagine!”
Golfer: “How could there be any bad news with that?”
Fortune Teller: “You have a tee-time at 8:30 tomorrow morning.”

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A Golf Story from the Farm – Golf Joke

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, Two  black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally the doctor asked him, ‘What happened to you?’
‘Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture.’
We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.’
‘I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it – stuck right in the middle of the
Cow’s’ butt.’
Still holding the cow’s tail up, I yelled to my wife, ‘Hey, this looks like yours!’
‘I don’t remember much after that……’

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Spelling Lesson – Golf Joke

The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.
During the putting session, she innocently, she asked; “Is it spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?”
“P-u-t-t is correct,” he replied, and then went on to explain…
“Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt typically means a vain attempt to do the same thing.”

Please visit Great Golf Jokes for more humorous jokes related to golf and to submit your own golf joke.