Great Games for Golf

The 10 best Golf Commercials

admin — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 20:10:47 +0000

Follow this link for some real funny viewing:

http://www.golfcourseindustry.com/gci-video-funny-golf-commercials.aspx

The great GAME of golf!

admin — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 17:15:19 +0000

THE HONORABLE GAME OF GOLF

For the 116th straight season, it looks as if American golf is going to get through another year without a labor stoppage. Arnold Palmers for everybody.

Not true in the NFL and the NBA — – but how we don’t have one in golf I’ll ever know. If anybody should strike, it’s golfers. They have the crummiest deal since Rupert Murdoch bought MySpace.

Not one of them has a guaranteed contract. In golf, you’re promised zilch. You play good, you eat good. You play bad and you’re suddenly working behind your uncle’s pharmacy counter.

Per diem? Please. In golf, “per diem” translates as “What my wife gives me in the morning.”

Contract year? Every year is your contract year.

Disabled list? Get real. If you break your hand in golf, you’d better have Aflac.

You think if Tiger Woods played in the NBA he’d be limping around these past two years without a biweekly paycheck from the league? In the NBA, he still would have made his many millions per year and the owner would help him wheelbarrow it to the bank.

Look at Greg Oden, the rarely dressed center for the NBA’s Portland TrailBlazers. In four seasons, he has played 82 games. That’s one season spread over four. If he were a golfer, he’d be in Columbus running a big and tall man’s shop. But in the NBA, he has made $19.3 million. Nice work if you can get it.

Golf might look as though it’s all cashmere and courtesy cars, but in reality, these guys get squat.

In golf, you pay for your own transportation, your own meals, your own medical, your own lodging. You think Tom Brady pays his own bill when he checks out of the Miami Four Seasons? Phil Mickelson does.

LeBron James can stink up the finals like 80 inches of Limburger cheese and he still gets his cash. In golf, if you come to a major and freeze, all you’re going home with is an ulcer.

You wanna see a pro golfer laugh? Tell him that the NBA players are hacked off about possibly having their average salary of $6 million trimmed in this lockout. Do you know how many guys on the PGA Tour made that last year? One: Jim Furyk.

“It’s hard to really imagine that kind of world,” says Justin Leonard, who will play his 19th British Open here Thursday at Royal St. George’s. “Guaranteed contracts, no matter what? The rookie salaries? Wow. I can’t get my head around all that. That’s my incentive to play! I’m kinda proud we start at zero every week.”

The only tiny morsel golfers have negotiated for themselves is that every year on Tour, a set of 125 guys are promised a chance to make a living. This is not to be confused with promised a living. If you can get there, you have a tee time, but only half of you will be cashing a check.

“We do have one thing those guys don’t,” says Tom Watson, who has won the British Open five times. “We get to choose where we play. NBA players don’t.”

True, and when golfers choose not to play somewhere, they get murdered. Kenny Perry, for instance, got ripped for not playing the British Open for many years. But look at it from his wallet’s POV:

Two round-trip business-class tickets, Kentucky to London: $6,000

Caddie for the week: $1,500 Seven nights at the players’ hotel: $6,000

Twenty-one meals at that hotel, where the dollar is limper than the cucumber sandwiches: $2,100 Transfers, tips, etc.: $750……Total: $16,350

So, before Perry can break even, he has to beat half the best players in the world in a style of golf he hates.

Good luck!

Golfers have the worst job security this side of Naomi Campbell’s assistants. These guys are out there on their own skill and their own guts and their own dime, and they deserve some credit for it. You get the yips or a sore back or an ungrateful putter, we’ll see you on the Hooters Tour.

Remember Trevor Immelman? Good-looking kid? Won the 2008 Masters? If he were in the NFL, he’d have signed a five-year deal for $75 million. Instead, he goes out and can’t find a fairway with a course map, makes $1.3 million over the next three years, and must be wishing he had gone on to optometry school.

But none of that is what would drive your basic American multimillionaire team-sport union-backed jocks nuts.

What would drive them nuts is the part of golf’s unspoken contract that says: You call your own fouls. On yourself. Even if nobody saw it.

Can you imagine if guys called fouls on themselves in the NBA?

We’d still be waiting.

Great Games for Golf eBook – Order Now!

admin — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 10:52:11 +0000

Great Games for Golf Book Cover

The legendary Pocket Guide to Great Games for Golf is now available in an easy to use, eBook pdf format. And you can get your copy today!

The long tradition of having a side game during a round of golf is captured in this easy to use eBook. View Table of Contents >

Traditional games like Match Play, Nassau, and Skins explained
Over 50 easy to follow game descriptions for individuals and partners
Options for designing your own “points” game
Learn how a “Press” bet works
Team games and formats for multiple foursomes
Crazy games for maximum entertainment
Glossary of golf terms

Impress your friends with your golf game knowledge! Be informed when your golf group starts talking about a betting game for the day.

$9.95

Oh the trials and tribulations of golf

admin — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 22:41:00 +0000

Great golfing moments

Golf Tournaments – dont miss the book of golf games

admin — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 22:53:52 +0000

The golf tournament season is upon us. And guess what??? “Your Pocket Guide to Great Games for Golf ” is the best darn golf tournament tee prize going.

Why? Because people are tired of getting the same old sleeve of golf balls and tee packs. For about the same price you can give them a cute little personalized book of golf games that they will keep and use over and over. So if your golf tournament wants to do something unique and different that participants will enjoy, order your books today. Special pricing is still available!!!

2011 Discount for printed books for Golf Tournaments!

admin — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 22:27:35 +0000

Wow, if you have a golf tournament this is the perfect tee prize. Better than a sleeve of balls because it lasts. And we can personalize it with your name or organization on the inside cover.

Dont miss this special pricing offer at $8.95 each with a pre-paid order of 100 or more books! And we will throw in FREE SHIPPING! What a deal. So good you could even order now for next year. This discount is available through June 2011.

Note: Discount applies only to prepaid orders made prior to 6/30/2011!

Great Christmas Gifts for Golfers

admin — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 04:57:48 +0000

You’re in the right place to find Christmas Gifts for Golfers!!

Visit our sponsored links and resources page for ideas galore!

Great Golf Jokes

admin — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 06:17:18 +0000

After starting this site 7 years ago, I started accumulating many funny golf jokes from friends. I started another blog dedicated to great golf jokes. Here are a few of my favorites.

Fortune Teller Surprise – Golf Joke

On a recent trip to the Fortune Teller the golfer asks: “Are there golf courses in Heaven?”
The fortune teller replies: “I have good news, and I have bad news…”
Golfer: “So what’s the good news?”
Fortune Teller: “The good news is that Heaven’s golf courses are beautiful beyond anything you could imagine!”
Golfer: “How could there be any bad news with that?”
Fortune Teller: “You have a tee-time at 8:30 tomorrow morning.”

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A Golf Story from the Farm – Golf Joke

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, Two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally the doctor asked him, ‘What happened to you?’
‘Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture.’
We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.’
‘I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it – stuck right in the middle of the
Cow’s’ butt.’
Still holding the cow’s tail up, I yelled to my wife, ‘Hey, this looks like yours!’
‘I don’t remember much after that……’

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Spelling Lesson – Golf Joke

The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.
During the putting session, she innocently, she asked; “Is it spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?”
“P-u-t-t is correct,” he replied, and then went on to explain…
“Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt typically means a vain attempt to do the same thing.”

Please visit Great Golf Jokes for more humorous jokes related to golf and to submit your own golf joke.

Funny Golf Videos

admin — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 08:05:40 +0000

Junior Newts on Golf

Great Golf Quotes

admin — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 06:19:00 +0000

* These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead
* You can talk to a fade but a hook won’t listen.~ Lee Trevino
* I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.~ George Brett
* Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Jim Murray
* The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.~ Mickey Mantle
* Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them. ~ Kevin Costner
* I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
* After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie f or a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
* The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. ~ Brian Weis
* Swing hard in case you hit it. ~ Dan Marino
* My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. ~ Lord Robertson Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. ~ Jack Benny
* I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced. ~ Lee Trevino
* There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.~ Ben Hogan
* Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you’re the best ~ Jack Nicklaus
* The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. It’s almost a law. ~ H G Wells
* If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf. ~ Bob Hope
* While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. ~ Henny Youngman
* If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~ Jack Lemmon
* You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. ~ Lee Trevino